Photo-Memories: Schnavel Kapp (Baseball Cap)

Where there is relationship there is love. Where there is love there is joy. Where there is joy there is delight. My dad took delight in me as a child and I adored him.

He was coming home from work one day, walking up the sidewalks. I close my eyes and smile as I reminisce. There are two snapshots my heart remembers from that day. Both are bathed in pure unadulterated delight.

In the first photo-memory I am running towards the door to greet him, paused momentarily by inspiration. An Old Order Mennonite girl does not wear a baseball cap, un schnovel kapp, but my brother’s was hanging on that hook by the door. It was at the perfect height for my two year old frame to reach for as I went scurrying by. I remember being poised mid air. That momentary second in which life changing decisions are made. Do I grab it and smash it onto my braided head or do I not? It would be so silly. It would give my daddy cause for a chuckle, a tease. Cause to take delight in me.

I must have decided “yes”, because in the next memory-frame I am suspended in mid air, leaping, bounding, weightless. Sheer joy. Flying into my daddy’s arms..

I have no memory of what happened next. Just this skipping in mid air, legs outstretched, heart exploding with joy feeling as my dad walked up the sidewalk. Home.

My dad only lived another two or three years after that memory. I have longed for those loving, accepting arms reaching out for me. Holding me. Not letting me fall.

It has taken years, decades, amidst a rubble of broken, flailing arms, for me to find them once again. The security of those Eternal Arms of Love. The ones that never die, never abandon. Those arms that have been poised, waiting with sheer delight for me to come leaping, bounding, flying. Home.

“Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.”   Mark 10:16, The Message

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Categories: Childhood, Old Order Mennonite, Photo-Memory | Leave a comment

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